Covid-19 has been a challenge for everyone but for many couples it has been a breaking point. many found themselves locked up next to their loved 24/7 and even these days it feels like life is made up of work and home.
So how do you deal with the new situation? Here are some tips to help you get through the period
There has been a rise in talk about the mental health issues the corona has brought. Along with the personal difficulties, there are quite a few relationship challenges. We have become accustomed in our lives to a relationship that takes place alongside different and varied areas, such as friendships, work and family. The plague has brought us home, and suddenly our partner becomes all of these. What happens to us when in one moment we close with a person we love very much 24/7? Isolation and social distancing have put our relationships for better or worse at speeds. Suddenly it seems as if the only arena that exists is the one at home with the spouse. If you have a feeling that global chaos has entered your home to some degree, you are not alone. The dynamics and roles that have worked between you over time have changed drastically, and so have the tensions. As evidence of this, in the world of therapy we are seeing a significant increase in seeking couple therapy. So now that we're mostly starting to work on rehabilitating the economy and ourselves, we should also look at our relationships and see how we bridge the gaps and manage to heal the wounds.
1. Pay attention to your feelings - it starts with you. If you feel that the threshold of anxiety is rising, feelings of depression or pressure are flooding, keep in mind that it will quickly seep into your relationship as well. If emotions float and the difficulty arise, do not repress, share your partner, and ask for his help.
2. Do not let the other side guess - there is a good chance he will be wrong. What do I mean by that? We would like to believe that the other side just knows what we are feeling, what we are angry about and what it should do and say. The reality is that no one knows what is going through our minds exactly.
Just speak and communicate what you are going through.
3. Stop assuming - we tend to assume we know what our partner means and what he wants to say. Such assumptions can lead to anger and resentment that develop out of erroneous expectations. Instead, start an open dialogue and avoid "mind reading."
4. Rewrite - Try to be honest with each other. If you feel frustrated or stressed, try to avoid criticizing and blaming your spouse and try to use sentences that describe what you are going through. For example: “I feel ...” or “I am affected by ... when you ...”
5. Accept the circumstances- Accept the fact that this is not a simple test time for your relationship either - it is a time for some grace. Remember that there are a variety of ways to deal with challenging and stressful situations. Your way is not the only one.
6. Keep the big fights for calm days - do not use the tension that arises as an excuse to unload all your ongoing relationship issues. It may be necessary to stop difficult conversations during the current confrontation. Try to pick your battles and consider if they are worth it now.
7. Treat each other kindly and respectfully - even in the angriest moments, pay attention to the attitude you show towards each other. Spouses should not belittle or treat each other with contempt, it certainly does not lead to good couple places.
8. Promote mutual understanding - Avoid reckoning and instead try to listen to each other and make a connection. Try to understand your partner out of a desire for him to understand you. Do not dismiss what has been said because it will lead to the closing of the hearing.
9. Remember: It is important to be willing to give as well as receive - everyone has hard days. It's okay to take turns leaning.
Adi Blay, psychologist